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Very Unhappy with HostBluff
I have a server with hostbluff and I am very unhappy!
The server has an uptime of 12%, and I find that unacceptable.
When I ordered I expected an uptime of 4% or less, why are you guys doing this! I demand a technician goes to my server and unplug it.
Thanked by 1Amitz
Comments
I can offer you 15% uptime at no cost. Hold on, let me go power cycle my cable modem.
I'm thinking of purchasing there 72 cent SEO VPS, which package did you use?
http://hostbluff.com/products/vps-web-hosting/
I have the big vps buff.
When is this unplanned uptime going to end?
Did you read there network announcement from this morning?
Could be related.. http://hostbluff.com/emergency-alert-all-of-our-servers-are-online/
My uptime went up to 15!
What is this!?
@bijan588 - May I have a ticket number, it should be tattooed on your left arm
Sure thing!
Unfortunately, its a permanent tattoo.
@bijan588 - Thanks, I am looking into this now
HostBluff are so cruel... that was really unexpected.
I am thinking of buying the 72 cent VPS but if I am going to be forced to have ticket IDs tattooed on my left arm nevermind.
I hope this gets resolved soon
Thanks, I have researched your issue and found the issue was caused by 2 things
1) Our VPS on a VPS on a VPS on a Pink Elephant Technology - By design, this platform is unpredictable and can cause issues such as unexpected uptime on rare occasions. Normally this type of setup leaves the server unbootable for other hosts who have implemented it. You can find full details on the technology on our Blog Post - http://hostbluff.com/new-vps-on-a-vps-on-a-vps-on-an-elephant-hosting/
2) We had an issue this morning where power was accidentally restored for about 120 minutes this morning. This was caused by an untrained staff member who replaced the toasters with power supplies. We have took measures to ensure that tech cannot reach our servers anymore (he will be in a wheelchair for the next 12 weeks). We have posted details here - http://hostbluff.com/emergency-alert-all-of-our-servers-are-online/
I am again very sorry for these events, I will be debiting your account $12,000 for this event. Please contact us via live chat if you need more assistance and remember to check our blog daily for updates.
We are hosting our blog on UrPad so it should stay up while our normal servers are down
It can also be on your left testical, we just ask that you dont post those pictures... please...
My servers back offline!
Thanks goodness!
Would you buy from HostBluff again Bijan?
Thanks for your review!
We really dont give them a choice
Bijan remembes the electrode attached to his brain
I love host bluff! And I mean it
Did you send them cash in an unmarked paper bag?
I am trying to order, but they said they cannot accept anything but this
i plan to contact don frye and have business partnership with him and compete with HostBluff. Planning to give 24GB RAM dedicated for 50 cents a month.
Sorry about that lapse in judgement, our brainwashing console failed us for a few
You can never match our Drunk Horny Support Team. Not to mention that we have snipers that can take care of external threats line yourself,
Am I an external threat?
@HostBluff but I only take yearly order and then run away after 2 weeks people signed up. please dont shoot.
@liam signed up and they have image for DOS 1-6. Great!
Unhappy? They are excellent. They're even working on my request for an ENIAC image but said they're having trouble mapping stdin/stdout....
@hostbluff
Dear Sirs, since you started promoting your business our sales are lowering each day, clients say that they love your near zero uptime sla! No more worries about visitor stats, pageranks, porns, defacement and hacking risks. They go out in the sun rediscover family and friends (some even some real sex) and are happy again as it was before the internet age.
So we see no way for us to stay in business that to follow your business model. Can we became your resellers? Can we send some guys for a stage at your (so called) office?
Thank you in advance for a speedy and positive reply.
Best regards
Anyone who trys to compete with us is an external threat
Can you install mikerowesoft windows 9?
We only have IPvY2k IP Addresses. Windows 9 may be an option but I think it requires more then 1 MB of RAM. Windows is known for being bloated so it may also need more then 4 cups of Disk Space.
Hello, I think you mean DDoS 1-6, you forgot the extra D. Its an Operating System that displays an endless feel of LOLCats on all websites.
Sorry, thats what we get for using Slave Labor in our support. I think we ran out of the Vacuum Tubes to make it run properly.
Thanks for your kind words. It is a well known fact that if we keep your websites offline, it makes it very hard for attackers to break into your insecure wordpress blogs.
Actually we learned it from HostRail
Hello Kevin,
Did you leave the cash in the 3rd restroom stall in the park (mens) at 3:27 AM EST. We have not gotten your payment of 72 cents and your invoice is overdue
Hi @HostBluff, I need some help with your live support
Whats wrong with the Live Support system? I just checked it and the insult module is working properly?