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Never used it but a quick Google search and I found this - http://locust.io/
May do what I want, Thanks!
Maybe a fork of https://github.com/newsapps/beeswithmachineguns/
adapted for using one of the low-end-priced cloud APIs like Vultr/iwstack/lunanode.
Vultr especially: Spin up one vm in each location and simulate a wide distribution of client latencies.
They shouldn't have a problem with legit L7 HTTP traffic right?
Nice one. Bookmarked.